Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Infertile Myrtle

I turned 30 in 2001, and thats when DH and I thought we should start thinking about having a baby. Isn't it ironical how you spend a large part of your life trying to ensure you DON'T get pregnant, and how stressed you are when you're even one day late? 

Sometimes I wish there had been an "Oops" pregnancy back then! Or maybe given everything that we've discovered so far, the Oops pregnancy would not have happened, in which case I should not have been worried about birth control anyway! 

I don't think there would be a single person in the world who would be mentally prepared to be infertile. You always think you stop the birth control and you'd be knocked up in no time! And when that doesn't happen in the first few months, there's denial that sets in. You try again and again, and somewhere in your heart you have that small nagging feeling that's beginning to sink in.....

Monday, March 24, 2008

Introductions and the beginning of a long story

DH and my story around infertility and our attempts to have a baby are reaching the 7 year mark, so this introductory post may be long, but I will try and keep it precise.

I am 37, DH is 36, we have been married almost 11 years, and our IF journey started in 2001. Several tests, procedures, clomid cycles, IUI cycles, IVF cycles, FET cycles, and one miscarriage later - here we are, 7 years older, but still "trying to get pregnant". 

In the meantime, friends, colleagues and acquaintances have "decided to have a baby", got pregnant, delivered their babies, and some have proceeded to repeat the process with baby #2 as well.

Through all of this, the one thing that doesn't diminish is the feeling of hope. Every month brings a new ray of hope, and you go on with your appointments, and injections and everything because THIS HAS TO BE THE MONTH! 

With that hope reset again, we are beginning another IVF cycle. I have just completed my BCP's and start the injections this Friday.

I hope this is it for us, because its becoming harder and harder to stay positive through this. Its becoming harder and harder to hold on to that one ray of hope.