I recently had a conversation with my manager about *maybe* going to Denver at some point in the future. I wanted him to know, so there was no misunderstanding if and when I did go.
The conversation went something like this: (The sequence of sentences may be mixed up a little, because I was too shocked to be able to remember everything, and you’ll see why I was shocked)
Me: I wanted to let you know that at some point DH and I will be going to Denver for our “treatment”.
Him: What treatment?
Me: Our fertility treatment – I had mentioned it to you before, right?
Him: What treatment?? OH the pregnancy one?
Me: Yes, the pregnancy one (controlled eye roll here)
Him: How old are you?
Me: I’m 38.
Him: You’re 38????
(This “You’re 38??” and “Yes” was repeated some 5 times)
Him: How long have you been married?
Me: 12 years, and we’ve been trying since 2001.
Him: You’ve had some abortions right?
Me: NO I HAVE NOT HAD ANY ABORTIONS! I HAVE HAD MISCARRIAGES OR PREGNANCY LOSSES!
Him: It must be very hard.
Me: Yes it is.
Him: I used to be like Hitler in my house, never cared about anything until my wife had her operation.
Me: What operation? You mean she had a C-Section?
Him: Yes – they take the baby out, and they ask us to cut the cord. That moment changed me. That’s when I realized the value of a lady.
Me:……………………….. (Thinking to my self – Oh my word!!! Which means, there is no value in my existence at all!!)
I picked my jaw up off the table, muttered something unintelligible and left the room.
In retrospect I think there is so much I should have not said, or that I should have cut the conversation short right in the beginning when I got the drift that he wasn't evolved enough in the EQ department. But at that time, I was just so shocked that I ended up sitting there like a sputtering gold fish, enduring this!
Oh BOY!!! What would you do if anyone spoke like this to you?
Our Infertility & Loss Story
3 months ago