Sunday, May 17, 2009

I think I need help

I don’t even want to try and interpret this one. I had a dream the other night, and not only was it disturbing, it was downright weird.

In my dream, my mom is pregnant. And it’s one of those “oops” pregnancies. My parents are worried about how to break the news to me (much like most of my IRL friends don’t know how to face me once they get pregnant). It’s like I am so incurably infertile that it’s all that my family and friends see about me any more!

So anyway, back to my dream. My parents are worried about breaking the news to me, but they finally take me aside and tell me they didn’t know how to tell me, you know, because of how long DH and I have been trying to get pregnant on our own. I don’t say anything to them, and without any real conversation, it becomes understood that I will bring up the baby they have as my own.

So flash forward – poor pathetic me is bringing up my own new born baby brother and passing him off as my own child. (Why did my dream select a baby brother over a baby sister? No idea.)

How disturbing is that? On so many levels. Right from the fact that they didn’t want to tell me, to the fact of course that my 61 year old post menopausal mother can get pregnant and have a baby and I can’t, to the fact that I’m bringing up my baby brother and pretending he is my baby. Also, my relationship with my parents is very good, so I have no idea why my sub-conscience would come up with something so insane!

OK - I think I need help.


Anonymous said...

Wow, what a weird dream - do you blog with Clio at dancing with gaia? - she will interpret the shit out of a good way. I won't even try.

I do not know if you remember my weird dream with my mom watching me bleed horrible, horrible clots of blood that would not stop with dead white tissue...yeah, I hear you on the weird dreams and thinking about reaching out...

I wish I was there so we could emotionally eat together and I could give you a big hug.

JJ said...

Weird! I recently had a similar one that my aunt (67) was pregnant again..... I wonder how all these things seep into our subconscious.

Sky said...

Just before my wedding 19 years ago, I woke up crying from a dream that I tried on my wedding dress and there was a Santa Claus face in rhinestones and pearls crafted on the bodice. I told the seamstress that I didn't want to wear a Santa Claus face on the front of the dress like that - I wanted a plain white one and she kept saying it was so pretty and that Santa Claus is a wonderful icon. Huh?

Well, I never made any sense out of that!

Dreams are really so crazy that sometimes you really can't make any sense out of them whatsoever. There were snippets taken from your life's realities right now and your sub conscious went WILD.

Fortunately, your 61 year old mom is not going to have an oops pregnancy (I never even wanted to imagine my mother had ever had sex in her life so I would have been more upset by THAT! :)

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this crap in your sleep too - seems the only time to get some peace and distance from the IF madness! Be well.

DAVs said...

That is truly one weird dream.
But then again, last night I dreamed I was part of some vigilante anti-terrorist group and someone was teaching me how to use a semi-automatic weapon. And I am the most anti-gun person you'll ever meet! Craziness.
Don't try to make too much of your dreams, they'll just drive you insane!

Caroline said...

Hi Nikki,

Hmmmmm - that is a weird dream (although most dreams are pretty weird!).

The only interpretation I can offer is that having a baby is slowly creeping back into the forefront of your mind again. Maybe you are starting to think about the FET more now that June is around the corner? Just my silly thoughts.


Anonymous said...

this is a strange dream. i have no ideas. do you have a dream book?? would be interesting to see what it said!!

Birdee said...

Actually - as an outsider, your dream makes perfect sense to me.
I can't describe it, but you pretty much did in a lot of ways in your post.
I can see why you'd have THAT dream, exactly the way it was.
What you've been through is very traumatic, it's beyond a worst nightmare, and all the things that happened in your dream are a "worst nightmare" (mixed with some desire) and NOT REAL, but who knew that what you had been through would be Real, so maybe in your subconscious, anything that is so impossibly unreal - is possibly real to your subconscious, because you've seen and been through the impossible.

Bluebird said...

Strange indeed! My mind immediately went to the (oh so uncomfortable) conversation with my mom during with she offered to act as a surrogate for us. No conversations like that with your mom, I assume?!

Anonymous said...

Well it just means you really want to hold a baby in your arms.Nne way or the other.There is nothing wrong with that. who else is closer to you genetically than your own mom?

I dream of babies all the time. I was told that it is natural because subconsciously we want to be a mother.

You do not need help, you are fine..Just make up your mind how to move forward in your life..

Shelby said...

Dreams are so amazingly bizarre. Although I've had some minor training in dream interpretation, I think you'd do a better job at taking a guess. Any way you slice it, you have such heavy subjects sitting in the back and I'm sure the forefront of your mind on a frequent basis that it's not a surprise they've come to visit in this way.

Sarang said...

Okay, I just consulted my dreams says your dream was completely natural considering what you've been going through!

I hope you have sweet dreams from now on.

Clio said...

the key to interpret this dream has to do with how you were feeling in the dream raising the 'brother' as your son.
were you upset? were you feeling miserable? or were you happy, although it was weird?