Monday, November 24, 2008

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad

Today is my parents' 39th wedding anniversary. 39 years of life spent together, a family raised, many traditions set and shared, many laughs shared and many many moments strung into wonderful memories.

Mom and Dad are quite different from each other. Mom can't stop talking and chattering and laughing. Dad is quiet, mostly engrossed with his newspapers and his thoughts. But he listens to Mom. Well, she makes sure he listens. 

In my siblings and me, they have instilled a great family bond. My brother, sister and I are great friends. There aren't any unnecessary egos in our relationship, and that bond has come from the upbringing our parents gave us. 

Dad always wanted us to be completely independent. His logic was "We are not going to be with the children for their entire lives. We have to make sure they grow up sensible, to be able to make their decisions themselves." Mom would worry, Dad would calm her down. I went to college across the country, and my mom would be on edge from the time I left home, till the time I reached college and could be contacted on phone (there were no cell phones back then, so when you were out, you were really out). 

I grew up in India, and that's where my parents still live. In India, to a large extent, arranged marriages are still the norm. (A lot is changing now, but parents would still like to make the matches). When I decided I wanted to marry DH, and I told my parents, their reaction completely surprised me. Dad said he did not want to ~make~ me marry someone else, because then I would be unhappy, and would keep my husband unhappy. And that would make DH end up marrying someone else, and they would be unhappy too. My parents did not want to be responsible for 4 people being unhappy. Worked out well for us. :-)

My parents have recently learnt to use the internet, and I am so proud of them for doing that! My biggest surprise came when my dad pinged me and said he had got a webcam and a skype account and he wanted to video conference with us! When you live half the way across the world, that's a great blessing! 

In the 37 years that I have known my parents, I've never seen my dad angry. He is so calm in the face of so many ups and downs in life. I've never seen my mom stop supporting him. They have always laughed their way through anything that challenged them. There is tremendous amount of respect and love in their relationship, and even now, they share a spark which is so rare. 

This post is to wish my parents many many more years together. Many more laughs together, many more moments together. 

And I sincerely hope that one day I can give them their first grandchild (unless my brother or sister beat me to it - which wouldn't be too bad either), and with their help, I can instill the same sense of family and sensible, honest independence in my children. 


Anonymous said...

Ahh, that was so sweet! Happy Anniversary!!

Lisa said...

Such a sweet and loving post.

I hope you can pass down all those things to your children, too!!

Must be something in the air today, because I wrote a post about family and love today too. Mine was about my grandparents who I learned so much from.

I Believe in Miracles said...

That's an awesome post. It is wonderful when people across the world use technology. I only wish my mom would get on board!!

What a great tribute.

Just catching up on a bunch of your posts - love the degrees of IF. I feel that's so true.

And I'm praying for you this cycle. Yeah it started!!!


margelina said...

What a beautiful post!
I hope they have a wonderful and blessed day! said...

May your fondest dream come true..and here's to many more happy anniversaries for your parents!

Lorraine said...

Just lovely - a tribute to your whole family seems like a perfect acknowledgment of a long-time marriage.

Did they have an arranged marriage? Such a fascinating subject! Sometimes it seems like such a good idea...

Nikki said...

Lorraine, yes, my parents had an arranged marriage. I am pretty sure I would not have survived an arranged match, but then when I see them - it doesn't seem difficult at all!

April said...

what good role models. what a great family.


Anonymous said...

Your parents sound wonderful. You're very lucky. We can all aspire to be such good parents some day.

Also, thanks for your nice note about Dr. Surrey. It's good to hear you've had a positive experience with him.

Anonymous said...

oops! I'm sorry...that was someone else who sent me the note about Dr. Surrey. Sorry about that!

Anonymous said...

An awesome post indeed! Hope your parents have many more wonderful anniversaries in the years to come.