Thursday, March 26, 2009

God made his presence felt...

I’ve mentioned this so many times in the past. Over the last few years, I’ve had an on-again, off-again relationship with God. I’m Hindu by religion, and as is well known, Hindus have hundreds, or maybe even thousands of Gods that they pray to. Growing up, my parents were never very forceful about religion. I grew up with reverence to a higher power, but never very ritualistic about religion. Hinduism does tend to be very ritualistic. Then I married someone from a completely different region of India, and suddenly, there was a whole new set of Gods that came into the picture. His family is extremely ritualistic, and so along with a new set of Gods, there was a whole new set of “rules” and rituals that came into the mix.

Ours has never been a very traditional marriage in any case, and in this aspect too, it was never any different. DH and I developed a “respect for God”, but no forceful rituals, and with no choice of one God over the others.

So we were never very religious to start with. Yes, we go to the temple once in a while, and we pray, and that is the extent of us being religious. Our routine has usually been to “say Hi to God” once a day, mostly in the morning, right after we shower.

Then IF happened to us. At first I prayed more fervently. I promised many things to God. Hindus believe in “vowing” to do something if God grants their wishes. So yes, I vowed to do a lot of things, but my wishes never came true. We begged, pleaded, promised, cried, and tried everything we could, but nothing happened.

Then I got pregnant. We thanked God over and over again – God was listening to us! Our wishes were being granted! Finally!

Then I miscarried. Not knowing where to turn, I blamed everything on God. We closed the doors to our temple (most Hindus have a little “temple” area in our homes, where we keep our deities etc.  Ours is in a linen closet! ☺ ) We didn’t pray for weeks, even though it felt odd, but we were at such odds with God, that we couldn't bring ourselves to prayer.

Over the last year and a half, I’ve gone back to praying, but I have stopped asking for anything in particular. I pray for others more than I do for myself now. And of late I’ve been trying to believe in the thought that God has a plan for me, even though I can’t see what it is.

And then God made His/Her presence felt in a way that only God can.

On this last Sunday, DH went off-roading with some of his friends. I met some friends for brunch, and then came back home. I tried calling DH several times that afternoon but couldn’t get through to him. Then finally, I got a call from DH a few hours later that they had had an accident and that our friend’s SUV had lost balance while going downhill on a rocky terrain. The SUV had rolled over 5-6 times down the hill until it finally stopped in a ravine. DH and 3 other people were in the vehicle. The glass windows had all shattered, the roof of the SUV had crumbled and caved inwards, and the vehicle was totaled. 

Miraculously the 4 friends walked out relatively unhurt. DH got a gash on his head,  the owner of the SUV got a muscle injury in his back, and the others got away with minor aches and pains and bruises. Of course, paramedics were called, and our friend whose back went out was airlifted to the closest ER. DH and the other 2 friends were taken in an ambulance. They didn't have cell phone reception till a couple of hours after the accident - till they were in the ambulance, on the way to the ER, and that's when DH called me. 

All this happened 90 miles away, and I had to drive out there to bring them home from the ER. My heart sank when I heard what DH was saying, but the fact that he was ~there~ - talking to me – his voice gave me the strength to remain calm as I drove out there. 

It could have been much worse. I shudder to think what would happen if that phone call I got brought news any different than what it did. I shudder to think of DH (and of course our friends) in that SUV, rolling downhill. Anything could have happened. They could have been thrown out of the vehicle and crushed. They could have got broken bones, and got injured severely.

When I reached the hospital and saw DH, I was trembling with the realization that we were so darned lucky that day. It could have been fatal. God truly had his hand over that vehicle that day.

I have been quick to whine and complain about my problems in life, and in the process, I was taking some things for granted. The events on Sunday made me re-assess everything, and made me realize the value of what I have in life. We have been so caught up in our failures that we have forgotten to enjoy each other, and we have forgotten to be thankful for each other’s company and the love and strength in our relationship.

I truly feel like that was a wake up call from God for us to sit up and take notice of everything that has been given to us. I am reminded of a hymn we used to sing in school:

Count your blessings,
Name them one by one
And it will surprise you
What the Lord has done.

Amen to that. I think it’s time for me to look at my life and count my blessings.

29 comments:

Jill M. said...

I'm soooo glad your dh is ok, wow, that could have been really tragic. I do believe God had his hand over the situation. Hugs!

Sticks and Stims said...

((HIUGS))

What IF? said...

What a relief that your dh and his friends are okay. I'm so happy for you that they all survived with only minor injuries.

Elana Kahn said...

I love hearing stories like these. It amazes me how some people don't believe there is *any* God when things like this happen. After what happened with me last week, it just solidified even more how God is watching over me and my family. Thank God He is watching over you and yours as well.

Rash said...

What a relief your dh and friends are ok...it could have been so tragic ,i too am an indian and hindu have been reading your blog for sometime,i am dealing with severe MFIF with one unsuccessful ivf,i too lost belief in god but like you pray for family and friends , nikki, god is there you will find light at end of tunnel

DAVs said...

So glad he is OK! After seeing my Dad in the hospital so many times this year it makes me grateful that things weren't worse...
Hang in there!

The Patterson's said...

Excellent post and well said. Thanks for the reminder that each day is a blessing!

Darya said...

I am so glad your DH is ok. What a scare! (((HUGS)))

Chhandita said...

Isnt it wonderful how God shows he exists? Although I don't believe in any organized religion, but the presence the of something greater has always inspired me...

I am so glad your DH is doing well...hope some of the prayers we have been sending your way helped...

I a wonderful experience while flying back from Delhi, holding my belly and praying for the baby Dan when suddenly I looked outside and saw a sea of clouds and actually saw the God in the universe. Suddenly felt so liberated....oppps sorry got carried away...bless ya...

Anonymous said...

I truly believe God tests his most special children the most.. you are definitely one of his chosen ones.. and you are coming up aces every time He tests you.. I wonder when your reward is..whenever it is .. it is going to be phenomenal.

Love
HH

Anonymous said...

I truly believe God tests his most special children the most.. you are definitely one of his chosen ones.. and you are coming up aces every time He tests you.. I wonder when your reward is..whenever it is .. it is going to be phenomenal.

Love
HH

Sue said...

Wow! that really was scary! I am so happy your DH is okay. I do think it is interesting that we all have something like this happen just when we are feeling at our worst...that omething happens that reminds us how lucky we really are, and that things could really be much worse. Though I don't think you really needed this wakeup call, I'm glad you got something out of an almost-tragic event and that everything really is okay. Hugs.

Misty Dawn said...

Oh how scary Nikki! I'm glad that everyone is ok. Its always been hard for me to look at the positives, but its about time I sit down and do it. My life won't be over if I can't have a child....we'll still go on living enjoying each other.

((((((((HUGS)))))))

Old Mom New Baby said...

Wow Nikki, I'm so glad your DH is okay, it breaks my heart to think of what could have been, and I'm so glad things turned out the way they did, and that there is a blessing to be seen in all of this. What a beautiful story, (Thank God it's beautiful)

margelina said...

That is a beautiful hymn...so simple yet so meaningful.
Wow, so glad your DH and everyone else was alright. That's a huge blessing!

Miss Tori said...

Sometimes it takes things like what happened to your DH for us to realize how blessed we are, despite all the crap we go through. I'm truly glad your DH is okay and that you've realized you are blessed.

Hugs,
Tori

mlg- believe-n-miracles said...

He works in mysterious ways, I try to count my blessing everyday and I pray for God to comfort others who are suffering, I am so glad that DH and his friends are ok, and I am so thankful that God has made His presence known to you, once again. He was always there, I just think sometimes we need to be reminded. Much love friend.

JJ said...

Wow, Nikki, thank goodness DH is ok! What a horrid thing to happen but a lucky outcome. Isn't life weird? Hugs.

Kris said...

So glad your DH and his friends are ok! Great post!!

Melody said...

Enjoyed stumbling across your blog today. I found it very interesting as my walk with infertility closely parallels. I was especially drawn to your thoughts on God protecting your DH and how he sort of renewed your perspective.

Linda said...

Thank God that your DH and his friends are ok. It must've been so scary for everyone involved! And yes, especially dealing with the pain of IF, you're not alone in blaming God. I've done it, too. But the important thing is that you realize just how blessed you and DH are to have each other. Many hugs to you!

PS. I still believe that you and DH will get your miracle one day. :)

MamaSoon said...

I am so glad you and your hubby are safe. What a terrible scare.

I've gotten away from my gratitudes. There is so much right in life and it is so easy to only see the wrong.

I hope you snuggle tight this weekend.

Brobe said...

OMG! So glad to know that your dh and friends are doing ok after the scary accident. We all take the things that we have so much for granted and feel deeply sad for many things that we don't have. I'm glad that you are seeing the positive side and are able to appreciate how lucky you are in so many ways.{{hugs}}

Lorraine said...

Oh, sweetie! I can imagine how frightening that must have been. Glad your guy is okay. It's always so scary to realize what might have been lost - and so important to be grateful for what we do have.

xxx

Shelby said...

Wow, I am so glad to hear your DH is safe and sound! I can't believe that happened. I've been away from blogs for several days and was so relieved to read the end of this entry!

I too fear that I don't count my blessings enough, that I've been so busy being angry about what has been taken from me that I overlook what has been given and as a result, will be reminded of it in a more dramatic way. Although this was quite dramatic, I am so glad that everyone was ok and that at the end of the day, you were able to find such meaning and strength. Please tell your DH that I am so happy he is ok!

strongblonde said...

omg. i can't even believe this. i am so happy that he is ok! this is definitely a good reminder to realize what we have!!! xoxo

Caroline said...

How scary Nikki. I am so relieved that your DH is OK. You two seem to have such a loving and caring relationship. It is good to be reminded of how wonderful many things are in your life.
Thanks for all of your support, and for helping me make sense of this crazy IVF cycle. I appreciate it. Caroline

bunny said...

wow- how scary!?! I am glad that everyone is ok. And yes, a great reminder to be thankful for all of the blessings in life- there are many- even in the worst of times.

Erica said...

Thank God he is okay. I would have been a wreck.

That prayer at the end is beautiful. It's so simple yet very poignant. Often it feels like IF is the WORST thing that can happen, but each day that I wake up, get to look at my DH smiling, and have my family healthy and happy, I know everything is okay. We have to be alright with things being "adequate" for the time being. I haven't figured out how to do it all the time, but damn it...I'm trying.

Thanks for this post. It reminded me to say "thank you" today.