Monday, October 6, 2008

12 years

So yesterday was our 12 year "Falling In Love" anniversary. Yes, I am that dork that remembers all these dates, and I spring out these surprises on DH every year - you should see the look on his face when I ask him "So do you remember what today is?"

It happened this year too - except I didn't ask him the question like that. We had settled down on the couch, and I asked him to tell me our story. He narrated it in third person, like he was talking about someone else. He of course did not get it that a surprise would be sprung at him. So he started with the entire narration of where we met, and how we got to know each other etc. In the process he missed out the events of Oct 5, 1996 which had etched the date into the calendar of my head. 

At the end of his story, I asked him if he remembered this particular conversation we'd had (on Oct 5, 1996). He said he did, and I said - "Well, OK, Happy Anniversary! We've been in love for 12 years now."

So then we got talking about the 12 years that have gone past. Had we known then what we know now, would our decision to be with each other be any different? A resounding "No" from both of us. If I had to go through IF, and deal with all this, there's nobody else on earth I'd rather do it with. I'm flawed, he's flawed, but we're in love. If we have to grow old alone, there's nobody else I'd rather be an old lady with. (He said the same, but this is my blog, and I speak for myself here.)

We wondered though how life would be different if we did have kids. Would we still be as publicly affectionate with each other, or would we worry that me sitting in DH's lap in front of growing children is not "proper"? DH thought we'd be the same as we are now, and nothing would change. I wonder if really nothing changes. With the demands of raising children, the routines, the exhaustion, does nothing change? 

Those of you that have children - what do you say?


7 comments:

I Believe in Miracles said...

I'm impressed that you remember dates!! I'm terrible. I forgot my own birthday once.

Happy 12 years!!

Brett and Audra said...

You've gotta love sweet talk! That is so sweet. We celebrate the anni. of the day we met and our first date and the first time we...ahem. (No it wasn't all in the same day...what kind of girl do you think I am?!) Anyway, I will definetly be sitting in his lap even when we're old and gray! I think it's important that kids see that they're parents love each other and are together b/c they want to be. Congrats on 12 years!!

nancy said...

heh. It's cute you remember those dates.

Kymberli said...

Oh, how I love this post! Whether or not things change will be up to the two of you. I can honestly say that nothing has changed for Frank and me. No, I take that back. Things have changed for us - for the better. We were mushy and kissy then, but we're more so now. We're giggly, mushy, lovey-dovey make-you-wanna-gag-with-our-lovefest people - and we don't hide it from our kids. Both of us came from basically broken homes. Our moms and dads were together (up through our childhoods, then both divorced), but things were definitely not "together and mushy" between either of our parents.

Our life is busy, crazy, hectic, and frantic on the SLOW days. Even so, it doesn't take but a second to kiss and hug each other, laugh and smile with each other, and to cuddle and snuggle. It's important to both of us for that to be a normal sight to our children. Frank and I are open with our affections for each other and we're open with our affections for our children. It's a priority to us that our children learn that you are never too busy to show your family that you love each other.

So in a nutshell - does it change? Only if you let it. :)

Darya said...

You guys are so darn cute!

Jackie. said...

Happy 12th!

the Babychaser: said...

About a year ago my husband had a health scare. Didn't turn out to be anything serious, but it was the first time it had ever crossed my mind that I could lose him.

What I learned is that I would never trade him for anything, even for a baby. And even if I'd known that this is what we'd be facing together, I would never go down a path without him at my side.

Isn't that a nice thing to realize? I'm glad you and your man tell each other the same thing.