Wednesday, October 1, 2008


We all know that we have good days and bad. We all know that we're trudging along, getting on with life, minding our business. What we don't know is when that dip is coming. Suddenly we find ourselves free falling into a low, flailing arms, trying to grasp onto something - anything, to stay above. 

Yesterday was one of those. There was so much restlessness, so much unease. Thank you all for reaching out to me. Thanks for all the jokes - each one was precious - and I'm smiling even now as I think of them. 

Thanks P, for dropping by because you knew I needed a hug. Thanks for the hug, and thanks for letting me vent and cry. Thanks for listening, and not judging. 

We heard back from CCRM on the FISH analysis on DH's semen. It turns out that 64% of his semen have unbalanced chromosome translocations. We thought 64% seemed like a "not too bad" percentage, but the genetic counselor who called said it's not that simple. She said anything above 50% is not good. She said it's only recently that they are seeing results in the 40-50-60% ranges. I don't know if it's because research is more advanced now, and there are more identified translocation cases, or if something in the environment is making the percentages increase! Whatever it is, thankfully it's not 90% or 100%! 

Nevertheless, it's more information. It's more things to deal with. Another mountain to climb and cross over. 

There seem to be hurdles from here to eternity! One hurdle after another......


nancy said...

I thought I knew everything there was to know about IF issues, but the MF escapes me. I understand everything you said but I don't know what it means (as far as what unbalanced chromosome transolactions are and why the 36% that are good wouldn't be good enough for ICSI. I mean, can't they just pick out a good one?)

~hugs~ on the results. And I'm sorry yesterday was such a bad day for you.

I Believe in Miracles said...

Oh I cannot imagine how this news must be like... I'll be thinking about and praying for you.

Nikki said...

Nancy - to answer your question, a chromosomally abnormal sperm may be as good / bad looking as a chromosomally normal sperm. From the outside there is no way of telling.

A sperm is made of one cell, and if you take that cell to biopsy, there is no sperm left. So right now there is no way to pick a good sperm and do ICSI.

The earliest that we can find out is at embryo stage by doing PGD.

Jewels said...

I understand the unexpected dip. I fell into one lastnight in my sleep.


Shelby said...

I'm sorry you're in the low. I'm sure the news didn't help. I'm always here!

Lots 'o **hugs**

Jackie. said...

I am sorry that you are feeling so badly. I am glad that you are still able to reach out to us. I hope that we are able to help you through this a little bit easier.
Big hugs,