Our roller coaster ride through infertility and more: Taking a break

Here's just something silly for everyone to enjoy. Take your mind off your current stress in life and smile a little. And please - no offense to supporters of either side. I'm not leaning left, and I'm not leaning right!

http://www.break.com/index/unbelievable-mccain-vs-obama-dance-off.html

Enjoy!! :-)

Our TTC Resume

Me: 38

DH: 37

Married in June 1997

Started TTC: June 2001.

2002: Saw OBGYN. 3 Clomid cycles - all BFN.

2003: Saw RE. 3 more rounds of Clomid / 5 rounds of IUIs (2 with injectables) - All BFN. Time to move on to IVF - but our insurance didn't cover it, and we couldn't afford to do it out of pocket.

2004: I injured my knee - had to have 2 surgeries to reconstruct it. So TTC was on the back burner.

Also got new job with IF coverage on the insurance.

2005: IVF#1. 29 eggs retrieved, 21 fertilized, 15 survived till day 3. 2 embryos transferred, 13 embryos frozen. BFN.

2006: Break from TTC.

2007: Went back to RE and demanded explanation for our BFNs. We were unexplained - nothing was ever off in our tests. Demanding additional testing pushed them into checking our karyotypes. DH's came back with a balanced translocation.

Changed RE - went to one that would do PGD for us.

Thawed our frozen embryos - PGD revealed all abnormal. FET cancelled. This was August 2007.

Oct 07: Fresh IVF #2. 17 eggs retrieved - 10 survived for biopsy. 1 normal after PGD. day 5 transfer - BFP!!!! Beautiful heartbeat u/s etc. Unfortunately m/c in the 9th week. D&C Nov 07. No frozen embies.

March/ April 08: Fresh IVF #3. 14 eggs retrieved - 9 biopsied. 1 normal - but not of great quality. Chemical pregnancy - first Beta was 10, then 5. No frozen embies.

June 08: Fresh IVF#4 - 17 eggs retrieved - 11 biopsied. 2 normal - BFP. Turned out to be ectopic which could not be found on u/s.

First they did a D&C, and when my HcG rose after that, they gave me a methotrexate shot. It took weeks for my Hcg normals to return to negative. No frozen embryos.

August 08: Our RE wanted us to talk to CCRM - "fresh pair of eyes" etc. Consulted CCRM and they called us for a 1 day work up.

Sep 08: 1 day work up in CCRM - they found my uterus to be T shaped (Why nobody saw it in so many years will always be a mystery to me)

Oct 08: Surgery to fix the shape of my uterus.

Dec 08: Post op Hysteroscopy - my uterus now looks normal. We can proceed with IVF#5!

Jan 09: Fresh IVF#5 - 31 eggs retrieved, 24 mature, 14 fertilized via ICSI, 6 made it to day 5. PGD done on day 5. 4 blasts normal! This was a freeze all cycle.

Feb 09: Preparing for FET - lining would not grow. After being postponed week after week for 3 weeks, we cancelled the FET.

Mar 09: Went to Denver for hysteroscopy to rule out any scar tissue / adhesions etc in my uterus. Currently on break from prepping for FET. Will decide in a couple of months and continue from there.

"Unborn" - Written in April 2008

Whose eyes would you have had?
Would you be like Mom or like Dad?
Would your hair be light or would it be dark?
No matter how you would be, you'd still be our spark

Are you sister and brother
Taking care of each other?
Or were you two little girls
Your Mommy's two little pearls?

I wish we could touch your tiny feet
I wish we could hear your heart beat
I'd give anything to be able to kiss your fingers
You left unborn, but your memory still lingers

There is no healing, time dulls the pain
Time can't stop me from thinking of you again and again
I've cried tears in silence, I've cried myself to sleep
Nothing to hold on to, only some memories to keep

You're in a safer place, is what Dadda tells me
But I want nothing more than to have you here with me
To hold, to love, to cherish and nourish
To finally see our dreams fulfilled and see our family flourish

We'll meet in heaven some day
When we can all get together and play
Till then, watch over us and see us through this fight
For sometimes we falter and it's hard to see the light.

"Empty Arms" - written on Dec 16, 2007

You came into our lives
We thanked God for you each day
God had different plans
And He took you away

You were our biggest ray of hope
That so far we had seen
You made us Mommy and Daddy
Though short your stay has been

Your eight weeks were short
So quickly you were gone
We are left remembering your loss
When we were imagining you being born

We are left with empty arms
That were longing to hold you close
We are left with shattered hearts
Wondering why it wasn't us God chose

We hold on to your memories
With tears in our eyes
We wish we could turn back time
We wish God would hear our cries

Be safe, dear Angel
You were loved by Mom and Dad
We miss you and are so so sorry
You would have been the biggest joy we would have had.

Our roller coaster ride through infertility and more

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Taking a break

4 comments:

About Me

Followers

Our TTC Resume

"Unborn" - Written in April 2008

"Empty Arms" - written on Dec 16, 2007

Blog Awards

Blog Archive

Infertility's Common Thread

Daily Reads

Counter

Our roller coaster ride through infertility and more

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Taking a break

4 comments:

About Me

Followers

Subscribe To Our Roller Coaster Ride

Our TTC Resume

"Unborn" - Written in April 2008

"Empty Arms" - written on Dec 16, 2007

Blog Awards

Blog Archive

Infertility's Common Thread

Daily Reads

Counter