PGD results are in

We got 4. Yes, that's right. 4!

I'm happy, relieved, excited and so thankful to God. Thanks also to all of you for your prayers and good wishes. You may never know how much your support and comments have helped me. I was losing my mind, and each one of you helped me stay together. Thank you all!

This last week has been a very very anxious week for us. DH and I have had numerous conversations, preparing ourselves for a phone call that begins with "I'm sorry". I was worried for DH because he doesn't vent out his anxiety like I do. He keeps it all bottled up, and there's a lot of anxiety in him because he feels responsible, yet helpless. He said he has been seeing the stress I've been under since the ER, and he knows that his BT, and the fact that everything boils down to numbers at the end of it is what is causing that stress to me, and he feels responsible. I was worrying for him while he was worrying for me.

We talked about closing this chapter and moving on. We talked about being strong for each other, and at the very least, resting in the knowledge that we've done all we could. We've been brave and strong, and have taken the bull by the horns for as long as we could. We also came to the agreement that we couldn't do this any longer. If we got a bad PGD result today, we would close the chapter.

We almost didn't want to answer the phone when it rang! The genetic counselor and our nurse were both on the line together. You could tell they were so excited! They said they had screamed and hugged each other in the corridors of CCRM when they got our results, causing other nurses and people to stick their heads out of their offices to see what was going on!

We have 4 normal blasts, and the grades are:
4AA
4AA
4BB
3BA

This is the best result we've had so far! I know I'm going to have a relaxed weekend now. It feels like a horrible weight has been lifted off our shoulders, and we can breathe again! Phew!

We know it's not over yet - it's FAR from over. It's not over till we get to come home with a healthy baby in our arms (or possibly it's not over till that healthy baby grows up and goes to college!). It's not over yet, but it's a bug hurdle crossed. A big big hurdle, and we're glad to have made it so far.

(Oh, I have to tell you about my dreams last night. I had 2 dreams. In the first, we were told we have 4 normal blasts, and their grades are 4DMR {Don't ask me what that means!!}. In my second dream we had 2 normal blasts that we transferred. I told the nurse and the counselor about my dream, and they told me to try and dream about being pregnant. I'm going to focus on that now!!)