Friday, January 16, 2009

Taking Charge of your Fertility

When we first started trying to conceive - way back in 2001, and when we realized the going wasn't all a bed of roses, I started lurking on a lot of message boards, trying to understand if we were timing things right, if there were things we were missing. 

I used to hang out on the "Just Starting Out" boards, well, not "hang out", but lurk mostly. I was too shy to talk about my failed attempts at trying to get pregnant. It was such a private matter. How could I discuss what happens in my bedroom with an internet full of strangers? 

Many people would talk about this book called Taking Charge of your Fertility - they swore by it, and it was like a TTC bible of some sorts. Written by Toni Weschler, it talks about managing your fertility - charting temperatures, tracking CM, cervical position etc. So for someone that can actually get pregnant on their own, this is a good book to have / read. 

I was a naive, innocent hopeful then. Little did I know that I was going to grow into someone who is infertile by even infertile standards. The joys of innocence! :-) I bought the book in 2001. The first page has my name and "2001" written on it. I read it, learnt a lot from it, but nothing happened. Over the years, the book got put away and forgotten in the bookshelves somewhere. 

Then a few years ago, one of our friends was talking about seeing a doctor. She and her husband were trying to get pregnant, and it wasn't working. I thought of this book and went looked for it, and lent it to her. She returned it a few months later saying she was pregnant. She had a son. 

A short while after that, another friend was in panic mode. And by that I mean complete panic mode "We have been trying for 7 months, I think we should talk to a doctor about doing IVF, nothing is working!!!!" She even took her husband to see a doctor about doing IVF. The doctor had a sense of humor, and made them sit through a presentation of the IVF process. That scared them into going home and trying on their own again. I lent her this book. She too has a son now. 

A third couple had been trying for a while. The girl had also seen a doctor, and had gone through an HSG. She was supposed to meet the doctor after her HSG to get started on treatment. I had lent my book to them a few months ago. They have returned it to me with a pregnancy announcement. I don't know if she's having a son yet. 

All these people probably would have got pregnant without having borrowed this book from me. But I choose to believe the book is lucky. I don't know it the contents did the trick, or just the book itself. 

I've been joking about this book and telling everyone that it has brought luck to everyone I have lent it to. One hundred percent - all 3 couples! Unfortunately the luck works only when I lend the book out. It doesn't seem to work with me!! My friend who returned the book this time said she was returning it in the hope that the book would work its magic on me as well.  

The book is lying here. I don't know if it's working it's magic. I don't know if it has any magic to work. Because honestly, all those couples would probably have got pregnant on their own anyway. But I hope it has magic. And I hope some of its magic is flying around us right now. 

God - anything to make this cycle work!!

I'm waiting for the PGD results. They haven't called, and now I don't think they will call today any more. It will be Monday / Tuesday before I know anything. I'm trying to hang in there. Some hours go past quicker than the others! 

A couple of random rants - the counter on my blog stopped working. I have no idea why. And I don't know why, but it's bothering me! Anyone know how to fix it? 

The plant we had planted on my baby's due date (the picture on my profile picture) is all brown and dry. We got back from CO and noticed it all dried up. We're trying to revive it, but I'm heart broken, and really scared it won't revive. It was fine and then suddenly it's gone. There were a few cold waves, I don't know if that's what did it. It's our "tribute to our lost babies" plant, and I don't know what I'll do if it doesn't sprout green again!! Any tips people? I'm not particularly green thumbed, but we have plenty of plants, and we do manage to keep them alive! 

Update - Never mind. The counter is back. On its own. After showing up as a ? for over a week! I should have whined about it earlier! :-)


Michelle said...

want to lend me your book? ;)

Lisa said...

That is some book!

I really hope that the weekend goes quickly for you and that you get the results asap on Monday.

Sorry about the plant - I hope it comes back.

Jill M. said...

I have the same book and read it in entirety in one day back when I was naive. It hasn't done me any good. Want to lend our books to eachother and see if that makes a difference?

Linda said...

I have that book filed somewhere in my closet...

I hope you get the call soon! (fingers crossed!!)

Darya said...


I know how much it sucks to have to wait and I'm sorry you have to wait for so long. Seems like you've waited enough. I hope you get great news and it will all be worth it...maybe getting the book back this time will give you the luck you need.

heavyheart2008 said...

Am really hoping and praying for you for this cycle Nikki. Don't worry about the plants. May be the siblings have gone around to cheer their youngest at CCRM. Take heart.

You have been an immense support to me. Do drop me your mail id at .

Shall write in if and when I ever get out of my shell.

Caroline said...

Hi Nikki,

I can relate to your "fertility book" story. After TTC for some time I bought and read all the fertility books. I read them from cover to cover. Then after they didn't work, I put them away.
I am now brushing them off again to look for any information or tips about IVF. It is kind of weird because instead of reading through the book like I used to, I now skip right to the end of the book (IVF)!

Sorry I don't have any gardening tips. I hope that the plant revives though.

margelina said...

Well, I believe in I'm going to believe in the magic of that book!
I'm sorry about your plant...I manage to kill every type of plant I get, so I'm no help there. Apparently my thumb is black, haha. I hope you find some way of bringing it back to life!

Jewels said...

You know, I have a TCOYF book I could lend you - maybe you just need one that isn't your own.

But seriously, I think your right, many people dont get pregnant only because they dont know when they O, It has nothing to do with being infertile and they probably would have gotten pregnant sooner or later.

I hope you can revive your plant, I have a very black thumb and am having a hard time growing my Chi-Pet-Homer, I'm thinking I need to post a pic, he's got a horseshoe-do.

natenang654 said...

Well, back when I was nieve, a friend of mine gave me her book (that didn't work for her - they adopted) and it hasn't worked for me either! LOL Hoping your book has the magic power - for you this time!! No words of advice on your plant but I hope it revives soon!

bunny said...

I bought Taking Charge, too after a friend recommended it. I bought it *before* we even started trying in the naive thought that with enough information we could get pregnant right away! ha!

it sounds like we should all send our books around and see if we can get good luck from having each others' books!

hope you get good news soon.

Lorraine said...

Yep, I have the book,too! Although I have no idea where it is anymore...

About the plant, though... Is it a vine? It looks like like it might be mandevilla, which is an annual vine. Or coral vine, which is winter-deciduous. If you know what it is, I can ask the horticulturalist in my office what to do to make it happy. Sometimes cutting a plant way back helps, since the growing energy is then spread out over a smaller amount of plant - it can use the energy more efficiently.

And if the growing energy has been redirected to your little possibilities, then what better use for it, really?

MamaSoon said...

I call the book after you lend it to Michelle. :-)

Isn't the wait for results torturous?! I hope you get good results tomorrow!

April said...

your book sounds like it has special powers! maybe i need it!!! :)

Chhandita said...

Hey Nikki lend me that book yeah?

I feel the same way about plants, all plants, they somehow become a part of my life...and this plant is really special for you..hope it gets revived...

Sarang said...

I have mixed feelings about my copy of the "Taking Charge" book as best friend (who had a miscarriage early on and 2 years of IF) gave it to me -- she had been holding on to it for when we were "ready". None of the charting, etc. seemed to work for me, but I believe in it for a lot of people to help them get a jumpstart.

Wow, you are stronger then me. I know of friends trying, but had not even thought to pass the book on...mostly, I've been worried about them springing their own pg announcements.

I would recommend Miracle Gro for your a plant shop or Wal-Mart. That stuff works. I know it's chemical-y but it's revived some of my plants. Good luck!

Angelwingsbaby said...

I have that book too I bought it back in 2001 when everyone said it was the book that you just had to have if you were TTC.Ahh memories! :-) Megan