We had a birthday party invite, and it took DH 2 days to convince me that we should go for the party because it would be a change for us. (Of course the voice messages from the host announcing that they would move the venue of the party to our house if we didn't show up did its bit in the coercion process!)
One of the first few people we saw at the party was a 4-5 month pregnant woman, who we don't know. My first reaction was panic, and my eyes searched around the room, and met DH's eyes, and he completely understood my panic so he came stood with me for a bit. My second reaction was just to ignore the woman completely.
It didn't help that while I was "ignoring" one pregnant woman, another woman with a little child walked up to me and asked me if I had children. I said no, and she said "Oh, not yet? Good for you! Enjoy your time without kids - once they come along life becomes very difficult". I smiled and walked away.
Then I proceeded to have a couple of drinks, and felt like I should act "normal" and not ignore people. And that's when I became the insensitive person we all talk about and hate. I asked the pregnant woman her EDD. Then I asked her if she knows if she's having a boy or a girl. She told me she was going to find out this week. I asked her if she sensed or could guess what she was having, and she said she had no idea.
About an hour later, I saw her sitting by herself, and she asked me to come sit with her. She asked me if I was married, and how long I was married. Then the "Do you have children" part started. I told her it was a sore point, and that no, we don't have kids yet, and we've lost 3 pregnancies. She told me she was married for 10 years, and she had a couple of miscarriages earlier, also had done IVF, which didn't work, and then they got pregnant naturally, and she really hopes things go well. Then she said "I don't remember who it was, but someone was asking me a short while ago if I knew whether I was having a boy or a girl, and whether I wanted a boy or a girl. It really made me mad, can't people understand that all I want is a healthy baby, and a pregnancy that sticks and things go fine"
I was so guilty of being that person. Of course I told her it was me, and told her I was really sorry. But I kept thinking that I had behaved like the person we all complain to each other about, and that makes me feel so so bad! I was just agitated that she was pregnant and I was not, and didn't once think that she could have had a long journey getting where she is!
I don't know if she really didn't remember who had asked her that question, or if she was being smart and putting her point across to me such that I'd get it. Whatever it was - I'm guilty! :-(